During the audit, the auditor looked at the Leroy and stated, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no reported full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Leroy. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”
Leroy says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”The auditor thinks a moment and says, “No way! It’s a bet.”
Leroy removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Leroy then says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
The auditor can tell Leroy isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Leroy removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Leroy’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
“Want to go double or nothing?” Leroy asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Leroy stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Leroy’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.
“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Leory told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”
